The Origin of Love

2005-12-03T23:51:00.000-08:00

The stars dont mean a thing
If I can't gaze upon you
like we used to
their incandescence
their illumination
giving your irises
a piercing twinkle
as if God himself
placed the stars in your eyes.

The fluorescent moon looks sallow
compared to the radiant smile
you displayed
whenever we lay together
sharing a moment
of each other's lives

The resplendent sun appears lackluster
compared to your cerise lips
slightly pursed as they await
their liason with mine.
the taste of your lipgloss
interwoven with their delicate softness
only taunts me into desiring more,
but to no avail

Without you
there is no color
no vividity
there is no Oz
there is no technicolor
just multiple shades of grey
and we never leave Kansas

How

2005-02-25T00:57:00.000-08:00

How
------
How does one cope with this feeling??
With this knowledge of loneliness,
The feeling of hopelessness

How does one go on dealing
With pain and regret
And despair and knowing
That in one brief moment
All can be won or lost
And the feeling that misery
Is one’s own volition

How does one cope with this feeling?

How does one come to terms
With nagging suspicion
Fighting addiction

How does one deal with the concept
That each casual meeting
On the streets
Maybe you only chance
To meet the person
Who will turn your life around
Throw you down
And leave you
Broken and beaten
on the ground

How does one cope with this feeling??

Untitled

2005-02-25T00:55:00.000-08:00

I’ve not known you very long
But already I feel I want to know you forever.
Every time I’m with you
I want to be with you more.
I don’t have to be a different person around you
But I want to be
I want to put away those childish impulses
I want to be a mature adult
(though I don’t know how “mature” either of us really are)

Don’t wipe that tear from your cheek
It’s amazing to see that vulnerability.
You’ve gone from someone I’d admired from afar
To someone with whom I watch movies, make stupid jokes,
Flirt like a high-schooler, and talk on the phone for hours.
Intimidation and admiration has given way to
Respect, desire and comfort.
You make me proud to be me.

Dream, Drug, Kiss Goodnight

2005-02-25T00:53:00.000-08:00

Dream, Drug, Kiss Goodnight
----------------------------------

In a world of wrong
she is the right
In the deepest darkness,
she is the light
My dream my drug
my last kiss goodnight
When life is dark,
she makes it light

When im with her,
I'm in euphoria
I don’t need fame
or money or glory
When she’s not around,
I'm all at sea
I wish she could know
what she means to me

Wishing You Were Here

2005-02-25T00:47:00.000-08:00

Wishing You Were Here
-----------------------------

I can't sleep
I don't want to forget the look upon your face
on that night you came to me
and said you loved me

I can't eat
'cause I want to remember
The taste of your sweet lipgloss
when you kissed me
underneath that old oak tree

I wish you would leave...
But only my thoughts
And only for now.
For I lie awake
Wishing you were here.

I can't smile
without you here beside me
a smile doesn't mean anything at all
but the memory of your face

I can't sing
'cause every song I ever sing
I sing to bring you everything
you've ever wanted
ever needed
to raise you up and never let you fall

Welcome to Nowhere

2005-02-25T00:46:00.000-08:00

Welcome To Nowhere
--------------------------

[Chorus]
Welcome to Nowhere
A place more ordinary
Without an interesting story
The dreary delusion
With little confusion
Will find its little place
In your heart

It’s an addiction
And affliction
A masochistic crucifixion
It gets in you blood
And opiate flood
The wholesome
The perfect
The good

[Chorus]

It’s a humdrum
A conundrum
The place where I come from
An American purgatory
Without an interesting story
The dreary delusion
With little confusion
Will find its little place in your heart

[Chorus]

September

2005-02-25T00:45:00.000-08:00

September
-------------

Bitter air gives way
to bitter feelings
and a bitter taste in my mouth

My heart crumples
like the leaves under my feet
and the note in my hand
Stale wind makes my eyes
water and sting
so I close them
(is it the wind?)
The warm air of summer
has gone away
for a long time
So too are you going away

I hate the fall

I Feel

2005-02-25T00:43:00.000-08:00

I Feel
--------
I feel empty
devoid of all emotion
I feel stupid
naive without a notion
I feel lost
without a sense of direction
I feel vulnerable
without any protection
I feel forsaken
left among the rubble
I feel hopeless
forever in trouble
I feel unloved
the world would never miss me
I feel alone
I've no one to go with me

Coffee

2005-02-25T00:42:00.000-08:00

Coffee
--------
I miss the old times.
You and I sitting in Denny's,
discussing life over coffee.
The waitress never waited 'til the cup was empty.
She always filled it when it was half full.

Now I sit alone and drink my coffee.
I have to read about life in a newspaper.
It seems the waitress has more tables nowadays;
she doesn't fill my cup as often.
I need a refill

A Winter Morning

2005-02-25T00:41:00.000-08:00

A Winter Morning
----------------------
A white blanket drapes over
the rigid contours of the earth.
Its pristine condition is so frail;
for any disturbence, and it will be tarnished.
From my window, I witness this marvel of nature.
Then, I turn and see you,
Still asleep,
even though its late morning.
The white blanket draped over
the flawless curves of your body.

Your innocence keeps me from waking you.

Every Time

2005-02-25T00:40:00.000-08:00

Everytime
-------------
I hate not being able to express what I want to say.
I just wish you could peer into my head for one moment....
so you could truly see what I'm feeling.
Every time I see you down or lonely,
I want to take you away from everything that's causing you pain.
Every time I'm with you,
I want nothing more than to hold you and never ever let you go.
Every time I talk to you, all those stupid love songs start making a whole lot of sense.
And I know you think this is just some stupid crush that I will get over.....
but its not,
because if this is a crush,
goddamn it,
I never want to fall in love.
I just wish you would let me help you

Rain

2005-02-25T00:38:00.001-08:00

Rain
------

It's raining again.
Each raindrop that rolls down my window
Is an allusion to the tears that are
Rolling down your face
Are you crying because of the rain?
Or is it raining because you're crying?

Sick

2005-02-25T00:38:00.000-08:00

Sick
------
I'm sick of helping you.
I give and give, and get nothing in return
I'm sick of thinking about you.
You're like a bad song
Thats replaying in my head
I'm sick of talking to you.
Everything you say
Makes me more and more sad
I'm sick of needing you.
I'm sick of loving you.
I'm sick of you.

Why I Love You

2005-02-25T00:36:00.000-08:00

Why I Love You
-------------------
For the past hour, I have layed in bed
Thinking of why I'm thinking of you
When I should be sleeping.
I close my eyes, and all I can see
Are your big brown-eyed puppy-dog eyes.
(I'm a sucker for them everytime.)
I block out the world around me
So I can hear your beautiful alto voice.
All other thoughts receed
So I can hold on to the memory of your beautiful smile
And the comforting warmth of your body
On top of mine.
I think about those stupid inside jokes you tel
lAnd how you get so excited about old Lucy reruns
Or watching the same movie you have seen at least 20 times
I think about these things
And they make me love you more
Than you ever thought
You could be loved

Broken

2005-02-25T00:34:00.000-08:00

Broken
---------
I know you're broken
And not just your heart
You feel like nothing works
That life has delt you a shitty hand
You feel alone and you think no one cares
You think you're damaged goods
A dented can in the bargain bin
People pick you up
Think about it
Then drop you because you aren't worth the risk
ButI want to fix you
I want to pick up the broken pieces
And glue them back togetherwith my love
I want the risk

But you wont let me fix you...

She Blames

2005-02-25T00:33:00.000-08:00

She Blames
--------------
She blames everyone
For the sins of a few;
But if you were her
You’d do the same.
She’s lost her faith in people
But can you blame her?
As many times as she’s played the game
She’s learned the rules by now
It’s a game she knows she cannot win
The odds are stacked against her
But I want to put the ball in her court
To be the one to help her
I want to be the one
Who restores her faith
Who shows her that she’s wrong
But how I can do that
When I agree with her?

You Can't Stop The Rain

2005-02-25T00:29:00.000-08:00

You Can't Stop the Rain
-----------------------------
You broke my heart
And left me shattered
You tore my soul
And left it tattered
I once was sad
You left me sadder
But now I see
It doesn’t matter ‘cause

You can’t stop the rain
So why not play in it?
You can’t dull the pain
So just live with it
You can’t dry the tears
So just let them fall
You can’t walk away
So you might as well crawl